Consent

Written by Sofia Martinez, Summer 2026 Intern. Edited by Co-Executive Director Lilly Fellows.

Consent is a word used in many different situations. It is a concept that should be understood across ages and can be taught at any point in the lifespan. Consent is a recurring conversation. It is a form of effective communication that can strengthen future relationships and protect you and others from miscommunication and, sometimes, even harm. Consent is defined by boundaries. These boundaries carry weight and need to be respected and articulated; this is how we build trust and connections.

Simply put, consent is care.

Consent is for every age.

Image from @growyourmind on Instagram

Just like consent, boundaries are important at any age in development. In early childhood, they can help a child develop a sense of self-autonomy, such as whether they want to be hugged or play a game. Ensuring younger children understand the concepts of boundaries and consent allows the child to learn what they may be used for, and as a child develops into adolescence, boundaries begin to encompass bodily expression and sexuality. The individual begins to know their physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries that should be expressed and respected.

As adults, we carry the boundaries we once created as children. New experiences and relationships teach us what we do or don't like, and we develop new boundaries. We may change the boundaries we've had before. We may use different boundaries with different people. Consent and boundaries are made to adapt to your needs and the boundaries of the people around you. Despite its vast forms, there are several things consent SHOULD be, and things it SHOULD NOT be.

Consent should always be:

• Mutually agreed and respected: Consent isn't just the verbal boundary; that is only the first step! Consent is truly accomplished when both parties are able to respect the boundary that was placed. Making sure that both parties understand the boundary in the same way. A good way to ensure this is to repeat it back and be specific.

• Clear and voluntary communication: Everyone should be aware of and able to give consent. Consent language is clear: "Yes," "No," "We can talk about that more."

• Communicated often: It is completely normal for consent and boundaries to change!

Consent should never be:

• Communicated with pressure, manipulation, or fear: Consent is meant to strengthen relationships, not break them. People should not feel coerced or threatened. If emotions like these arise, no matter the situation, your safety may be at risk. Consent should be clear and comfortable, never something to fear.

• Made through assumptions: Assuming consent from nonverbal cues, flirting, past experiences, or even a lack of resistance is never consent. You should never have to guess consent or pressure someone into a yes. Personal desires are not superior to others' boundaries. No means no, even if they said it indirectly or quietly.

Consent is a form of self-expression and care. Think about the feelings you experienced when others respected your boundaries. We show others we respect and love them by respecting their boundaries. Consent is care. It increases our autonomy, communication skills, conflict management, self-awareness, trust, and ability to connect with others.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you are not alone. Below are a few free, confidential hotlines to offer 24/7 support in English and en Español.

Resources

RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline

Call 800.656.HOPE (4673)

Chat at RAINN.org/hotline

Text "HOPE" to 64673

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

1-800-787-3224

Teen Dating Abuse Helpline

1-866-331-9474

1-866-331-8453