Why We Don't Teach the 5 D's of Active Bystandership

Written by Lilly Fellows, Co-Executive Director, Gathering Currents

The 5 D’s, Direct, Distract, Delegate, Delay, and Document, are a popular tool that active bystander organizations use in their workshops. Some people believe that they are an easy way to provide a checklist for their participants to become active bystanders. We believe that the 5 D’s can be a helpful starting point, but at Training Active Bystanders, we don’t believe that five categories can capture the complexity of real-world situations. 

Real Life Doesn’t Fit Neatly Into Boxes

One of the challenges with teaching active bystandership is that real-world situations rarely come with clear instructions, even though we may wish they did.

The same behavior can look very different depending on the identities of the people involved, the setting, the relationships, the level of risk, and what has happened before. A response that is helpful in one situation might not work in another. There may be situations when speaking up directly is the right choice, moments when bringing someone else in makes more sense, and moments when the most helpful thing you can do is check in with someone afterward. 

We hope our participants learn how to recognize when harm may be happening and analyze the situation. This includes understanding the inhibitors that are holding you back and figuring out how to break them. 

We don’t necessarily become better bystanders because someone gives us five things to remember. We become better through:

• Practicing difficult conversations

• Talking through scenarios

• Exploring what makes intervention difficult

• Learning communication skills

• Thinking about our own values

• Developing strategies before we need them

• Practicing to gain confidence

• Learning from situations through debriefing 

We want people to leave TAB not thinking, “I know five things I’m supposed to do,” but thinking, “I have skills I can draw on, and I feel more prepared to step in the next time I see harm happening.” 

Bystandership As More Than Just in the Moment

The 5 D’s are generally framed around responding to an incident. When we focus on the 5 D’s, we are missing so much more. 

TAB asks participants to think: What are we doing to create communities where people are more likely to speak up, support one another, and challenge harmful behavior in the first place?

Active bystandership isn’t only about intervening when something goes wrong. It’s also about:

• Modeling respectful behavior

• Uplifting people who do the right thing

• Creating norms around care and accountability

• Making it easier for people to ask for help

• Recognizing helpful behaviors 

• Building relationships and trust

• Creating cultures where intervention is expected and supported 

At Training Active Bystanders, we help people build a flexible toolbox that works for them. What works for one person may not work for another. If you see harm and don’t use a 5 D, you didn’t “fail.” We don’t teach people exactly what to do in every situation; we help them develop the skills, confidence, and moral courage needed to be an active bystander in the ways that they can, knowing that as we practice, we get more confident to step in next time.